This is what I get for staying on top of housework.

So yesterday morning, I was in rare multi-tasking form. Not only did I manage getting myself and my child dressed and prepped for the greatness that is Monday, I also decided to fit in a little domestic operational management too.

Just before heading downstairs, I started sorting out a load of laundry to toss in the wash. As I was bending over, I felt this insanely HOT pain in my right thigh; a fiery jab, followed by another, then another, causing me to drop my pile of clothes to the floor and figure out why an INFERNO was erupting on my leg. Stupidly, I expected a pin or something. But instead, I looked down to see a massive creature tumble off my leg and onto the floor; it was H-U-G-E. Something BIT me!

My eyesight’s not the best and my floors are dark, so at first, it looked a LOT like a tarantula spider . Then I thought, maybe it IS a tarantula. Maybe I was cursed by some ancient tikki idol – just like that time on the Brady Bunch; remember THAT 3-part cliff hanger? I totally thought that tarantula was going to attack and kill Peter.

Then I remembered that I haven't been anywhere near an idol don’t even know anyone that’s been to Hawaii recently and no tarantula wants to live in the cold tundra that is Canada. So I looked again and realized it was actually one of these suckers.

A hornet… a giant freaking hornet! STUNG me. Like 3 times. It wasn’t *quite* as big as this one though:

And did I tell you it hurt? O-U-C-H! This Pain Index - describes the pain better than me.

So then, in my poison venom induced stupor, I have a moment of clarity and stomp on it before it can inflict more pain or tries to kill me. Then I think maybe I should keep it. You know, incase I die and it needs to go in for lab tests as part of my autopsy.I could be allergic people! I was stung once by a wasp in 1986 without a reaction; but this was a mutant hornet!

I was starting to get all the symptoms of anyphalactic shock– my throat was all dry and my heart was racing and my leg was ballooning up… well ok, maybe I just had a little red spot... and I guess the debilitating inability to breathe mild hyperventilating is just from being a total hypochondriac. I told Chris just incase though.

Worst part of thinking you’re dying from a hornet sting? The reminder stingy sensations and leg stiffness, plus I had the creepy crawlies all day. But, I’ve survived 24 hours. I didn’t even need to be rushed to the hospital. But that totally almost happened.

And I STILL got that load of laundry done.

I know, I am awesome.

I was bitten by the bug in 2005 … so you could say it’s taken a while to get around to doing something about it.

First of all... welcome, and thank you for visiting my blog and my very first post!

I’ve been reading many blogs regularly for ages and most of my friends don’t get why. Because of who and what I read, I’ve wanted to start my own blog for at least the last 4 years. Part of the delay has been that I’ve been too worried I won’t be interesting enough, be entertaining or be faithful enough to stick with it. I’m FINALLY going for it though... I want in. This is one awesome community.

I’ve been playing with the layout and design for about a week now and have agonized over what the hell to write as my first post. Because hey, you really don’t ever have second chance to make a first impression, right? That being said, I still haven’t completely nailed down exactly where this blog is going to go and if I don’t just write a damn post already, I’ll never get it done. There are still some flaws and unfinished sections here, but there will be time over the next week or so to iron out the wrinkles I’m sure. So even though incomplete makes me feel like I have a rash, I need to start now or I’ll just keep putting it off. So... warts and all, I’m launching it today anyway.

I’m sure everyone feels antsy about their first post... With me though, it’s less about the content and more about the commitment that has me rattled. I want to follow through... I do! I just have a few character flaws that will fight me the entire time.

Allow me to explain.

Say I see something I want to try/buy/do. I will often:

Go for it impulsively (character flaw #1), which results in one or more of the following:

a.) I immediately change my mind

b.) I regret it

c.) I eventually lose interest

d.) I wish I’d taken more time to think things through.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I’ve been lucky with impulsivity too, but you know, I’m trying to illustrate a point here so let’s stay focused on the negative shall we?

I could say that the alternative to the above is more akin to that of being a careful consumer; taking time to do research, try on different options, kick tires or compare prices. That’s a bunch of crap though. Let’s call a spade a spade ok? If I don’t jump in it’s because I’m either not sold or not confident that I’ll be really good (like “oh my god, you’re a natural” kind of good).

So if I choose to look before I leap, I end up:

Procrastinating (character flaw #2). Good things rarely come from procrastination. Well except you don’t waste valuable effort and energy tv/computer time on something that might end up sucking. Normally however, putting something off means:

a.) I become mildly obsessed and then get over stimulated and can't make decisions

b.) I end up moving on to something else 

c.) Change my mind about trying at all 

d.) Lose interest 

e.) Regret not diving in 

So you see? I can’t win.

Great. I’ve just re-read what you’ve just read and can’t help but realize “Completely Neurotic Whack-job” is clearly the overall first impression that I’m leaving you with. Nice play Karen.

Still reading? Wow. You have stamina. That or you’re a glutton for punishment. OK, time for me to get back on track. You still want to know what exactly this blog will be about right? Tell you what, you figure it out and you can let me know ok?

Why Worn Off Novelties?

The novelty wears off quickly with me (character flaw #3). I am the reason that technology makes last year’s gadgets obsolete. I am why fashion has like 12 seasons a year. I will probably want to change the name of this blog next week.

I get bored easily, I change my mind often. Sure, I’m always passionate about starting something but if I get distracted or if there's way more involved that I bargained for(character flaw #4); I lose interest. I suppose all my teachers were right when they commented on my report cards “Karen is really good at stuff when she applies herself...” and “Karen has trouble finishing what she starts...” So basically, since childhood I’ve been screwed; doomed to a life of unfinished projects that had loads of potential to kick ass.

I can kind of predict that I’ll blog about being a mom, my poor photography skills, my love of food and wine and the ever expanding waistline to prove it. These are a few of the things I’m passionate about. Other than that? Who knows.

I’m hoping this experience will expand my sense of community, help me keep my scattered ideas in one place, and make me accountable to the things that make me happy and healthy. I also want this to be an outlet for creative expression and the occasional outburst of my attempt at humour.

All of these things, plus a host of other neuroses that I won’t get into now (I don’t want to scare everyone away yet) are what will hopefully constitute Worn Off Novelties; provided I stick with it.

There. Done. Whew.

Oh... I almost forgot - feedback suggestions and constructive criticism are welcome and very obviously needed.