Stick-to-it-ive-ness
Wednesday, January 27, 2010 at 7:47AM I have read blogs... YOUR blogs, for years. I started as far back as 1999. The first blog I discovered was a complete accident of searching for something else entirely on (fairly) newly minted Google. In fact some of my favorite blogs were discovered by me searching for something else. For years I've read blogs that have tickled whatever happens to be my fancy of the day - whether it's fawning over interior design, fonts, new hobbies, photography, music... there is so much more available on the internet than basic information. For just about every subject under the sun, blogs have made available to me, not just information, but stories and fascinating opinions.
When I became pregnant with my daughter in 2005, I discovered a whole new world of blogs that I previously had no inclination of existing. Yes "mommy blogs" immediately spring to mind, but really its personal blogs in general. Until that moment, I didn't really know that personal blogs were so engaging and completely unlike the "dear diary" drivel some who don't understand might expect.
In my discovery of personal blogs, I found something else... community. The community and rallying within the blogging world was completely unexpected and equally inspiring. From then on, I wanted to be more than just a spectator, I wanted to join in. I tossed the idea around for a number of years but kept dismissing it over fear of the techie stuff and really no clue on where to start. So I continued to read and leave tons of comments, hoping that would be enough. It wasn't.
I was really nervous and excited when I started this blog last year. I've not written near as much as I wanted, but that's mostly because I'm still unsure of what I want this space to become. I loathe the thought of it being solely a place puke out my neuroses or mutter random thoughts into a vacuum. Ultimately, I created this blog as a vehicle to network on a different level with the people I've been reading for all these years. I suppose I wanted this to be a place where you... would have an opportunity to meet and get to know me. In some ways I suppose I've had some success. Honestly though, Twitter is more efficient in that regard.
My last post was a Wordless Wednesday post on December 23rd. I've been stuck ever since. I really wanted to be more committed to blogging this year and I've been far too critical of myself to just let go and write. I'm trying too hard to make it all "just right". As the days pass, that pressure (I put solely on myself) builds and so does the guilt. Once that kicks in, so does my avoidance. To make matters worse, I find I've ignored my reader, my blogroll is really out of date and worst of all I'm not engaging or commenting as much as I want to. Its easier to put off anything unsavoury and do something fun instead; what's paradoxical about that though, is I WANT to write. I also pride myself on being able to move mountains when I want and need to. I've got the ambition and will to follow through, it's just with some things like oh I don't know... taxes, cleaning out my car and blogging (read: laying my naked vulnerable self and ego out in cyber space) I tend to procrastinate until it's almost too late.
This has made me question if I even want to keep it up. What's the point if I keep letting myself down?
I want to endure though. I haven't been at this long enough. I'll get my sea legs eventually. Plus going to BlogHer this year and meeting so many people I've grown to call friends is very important to me, and going to BlogHer without actually being a blogger would be a little like going to the vet with a pet rock.
So I'm going to persevere. I will write often-ish. And get back to reading you too ;)
P.S. To kick off my new blogging leaf tomorrow... I'll be doing a review and giveaway for Eden Fantasies! It's long, long, long overdue. Cecily was good enough to give me the opportunity and so far I'm all fail in the follow through. That all changes tomorrow though! Be sure to come back and read all about the fun and excitement I've enjoyed recently ;) and enter to win some excitement of your own.
Reader Comments (4)
I could have written this post myself. Well except I literally just found blogs last year! I wish I would have had them years ago, although it's great to be in the community now. It really has become that for me. It's so awesome.
I pretty much started a blog b/c all my twitter friends had one and it seemed like a better way for us to get to know each other in depth, or just explain how sick the kid is in more than 140 characters. I really do need to be a better reader and commenter though. I never comment on "big" blogs b/c I feel like I just get lost in the masses.
I haven't been posting as much as I thought I would either. It's just my site is like Debbie Downer-ville and I just feel like no one really wants to hear about it. LOL But then again I write it for me, so eff 'em. The stuff I write is not that awesome, but I write it when I feel it. When I need to more it off my chest and put it somewhere else.
So don't worry too much about how often and all that. I will be here whenever you type 'em out!
xo
I am on probably my fourth blog and right now I think it's the only thing keeping me sane. I don't write about anything in particular, just whatever happens to pop into my head or need to get off my chest. Even if nobody reads it, just throwing it out into the abyss makes me feel a hundred times better.
Don't get held up by what you think you should be writing; just start writing with whatever you have to say. Eventually you will find your voice and it will come easily.
Or, you could end up continuing to write about inane drivel, like I do. ;)
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