Falling Down is Hard, Getting Up is Harder. Especially When You've Been Kicked
Monday, November 16, 2009 at 2:45PM In March of 2007, my husband and I decided to go with our guts and jump head first into creating, producing, and not to mention funding our very first consumer expo... Ecologic: the Sustainable Lifestyle Show
My hubby and I met each other in the Trade Show and Events industry, so neither of us were new to the game. Chris works on the operations end and my experience lies in the sales/customer service/exhibit side. In 2005, Chris and a good friend of his started their own company. They were doing ok, but were really looking for a way to inject new life into a moderate market. They're better at what they do than anyone I know.
The idea for the show came from passion for environment and good timing. The environment was really becoming a hot topic and no one had yet come up with the concept here. The undertaking was going to be big. We never would have considered it without our shared depth of experience. That, we had in spades.
The one thing we didn't have in abundance, was start up capital.
I wasn't put off though. Fueled with fevered ambition and self confidence, I set to work. I did a very quick and sketchy business plan, registered the show name, website, set the date, booked the venue and got to work on building all the policies, guidelines, sales materials and promotional pieces.
Like some crazed lunatic, I spent the remaining six months of my maternity leave making this show happen. Exhibit and sponsorship sales, floor plan layouts, PR, media, ad and promotional material design, accounting, admin... you name it, I did it all.
We made it happen! We opened our three day event September 7th 2007.
It was a dismal failure.
Many people have tried to tell me otherwise. My husband, his business partner... even our exhibitors and speakers. Everyone was really supportive. I was told the show was beautiful. Most exhibitors made a point to tell us that they'd never experienced such a high level of quality and would surely sign up to do it all over again. It's just because it's new they said...it's growing pains.
The problem was... we lost our shirts. I made some stupid (and somewhat desperate) compromises in the months before the show. I gave away a ton of exhibit space and paid for features I was hoping to have sponsored. I didn't want to scratch components and have an inferior event just to save some money. I also spent twice my budget on advertising. I was really depending on people coming through the door to break even. People came... we just had nowhere near the numbers I needed. Doubling my advertising clearly wasn't enough. Yikes!
I was heartbroken. I had also sunk several tens of thousands into this show that I wasn't going to be getting back. Yes, I was prepared for that going in, but it really hurts when it becomes reality.
I also feel like I didn't give my baby enough of me during those months. I missed irreplaceable time with her and I'm never going to get over that. Ever.
After licking my wounds for a few months following the show, I did resolve to try again, but I needed a break. That break however turned into avoidance. Avoidance fed mostly by the sucking black whole of debt the first time round, but also by failure and an unwillingness to screw it all up again.
Today I found an ad for a similar event at the exact location of our show. One with a similar exhibitor list, but also some sponsors that I had courted a couple of years ago that didn't jump on board. That really stings. Can't help but feel I lay some of the groundwork though.
I'm sad. Kinda angry too. At myself.
I'm annoyed I have let time and competition get the better of my event. The event I sacraficed so much for is yet another step closer to proving itself to be a colosal waste of time.
I'm having a very hard time seperating my emotions from this new show. It's their first and first shows are hard. I'm disgusted in myself for hoping they fail as badly as I did. I may go to check it out, but I'm afraid I'll burst into tears on the show floor. If I hadn't invested so much blood, sweat and tears in my own event, I'd be far more supportive. This is for the environment after all. Right now though, I'm just feeling defeated.
Monday Sucks, Work, lessons
Reader Comments (5)
It's hard NOT to feel defeated...but (as I'm sure you already know)...you have to live and let live, so to speak. :)
Thanks for the comment. It's funny you know, if this was a show I did for a client or an employer, I'd have a far easier time. I'm just so close to it it's a little raw. I don't want to be bitter towards this group, they deserve to be successful; I'm sure they've worked just as hard as I did. Still stings though...
Oh Lady.
I can't quite articulate WHY I understand, but my jebus do I know EXACTLY how you feel.
That feeling of... total resentment/anger/ohmygodIhatemyself is no stranger to me.
So let me tell you right here and now. I understand. Really.
Also? If you do go, you should totally go into a corner, take a huge dump and then put pieces of it around the expo. That'll teach them from triggering all this emotion!
YEAH!
Hun, I feel for you - I really do.
I wish I had some constructive, practical help for you, but 1) I am too far away Down Under, 2) I have no experience in that area.
However, I have experience in life so maybe try turning it around, think instead that you started it, that you got it rolling, this (YOU) has enabled them to run the expo again. Don't beat yourself up about something that happened a while ago, it is a futile, pointless exercise. Also with the sponsors that you courted that are now onboard, you don't know what their balance sheets are/were like, you also were ahead of the game, people are still non-believers about climate change and looking after the planet, even with the latest CO2 report out today in London.
I would look back and take heart that you invested time, money and energy into something you believed in, how many people can say that? Yes, you missed time with your daughter, but looking at the mad photos of her at Halloween, she is thriving under your love, care and attention NOW. Please, take a step back and be proud of what you did, before anyone else, and that you galvanised anyone into action for any cause is great.
Life is for living, not fretting over. Enjoy today, it is the only day you have.
I am running out the door to work, so this is a bit rushed and muddledm but I hope you understand what I mean. You should be proud, not frustrated. M xx
and queue tears...
Thank you for helping me keep it all in perspective. I have thought variations of all off these things, but it really helps to hear it from outside my own head.
I so appreciate your opinion.
Thank you.